Child abuse is a touching subject. It makes people uncomfortable and usually no one wants to talk about it. I remember growing up in the 1960's, and at the age of probably 10 I was abuse by a babysitter. I never told anyone, not because I was afraid my mother would not believe me but because of what she might have done to the person that hurt me. I didn't want to lose the only parent I had. For years I walk around with so much shame. Afraid to let others in or get close. Even still this day, I have trust issues. But God is not through with me yet. I am a work in progress.
It wasn't until a friend invited me to a weekly group at a church that was for women that were abused. We all had to tell our story, the day that I told my story was the day I was set free from bondage. I've learned from that group, that you have to STOP and tell yourself the truth. Satan can hold you captive by the shame, guilt and make you think that it was your fault. I want to tell you it is not your fault. STOP and tell yourself the Truth.
Because of what happen to me, I was always very cautious and very protective of my children. So many times we teach our children about "stranger danger" but we don't teach them about "good touch, bad touch. Good Touch such as ones from mommy, grandmom, and doctor's. Bad Touch from, neighbors, friends and sometimes even family members in areas that are off limits.
Every day in this country, children are being tricked, seduced, intimidated and forced into sexual activity with another person. Whatever state you live in, I guarantee there are thousands of children in the social services system. They’re not the criminals, mind you–they are the victims–kids who have been abused.
I believe that like many other things, when it comes to sexual abuse, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So, what can parents do to prevent child sexual abuse? Allow me to share with you five tips from Jim Burns Ph.D. I believe they can help you address the issue–and with God’s help–keep your kids from becoming another statistic.
1. Learn as much information as you can about physical and sexual abuse. Learn who is most likely to commit crimes of abuse, why adults abuse kids, etc. There are lots of Internet websites that have preventative information about child sexual abuse. A simple search will turn up many of these resources.
2. Listen and talk with your children. Good communication is the most important principle in keeping your kids safe from sexual abuse. Work to create a climate in your home where kids aren’t afraid to share information about things they may be embarrassed or afraid about. Be willing to share with your kids about what you know about sexual abuse and how to prevent it. For instance, be sure to share with your kids basic information like, “no one has the right to touch your body without your permission.”
3. Teach your kids personal safety rules. Start early with your children (in an age appropriate way) and set clear safety rules for your kids. Here is a list of safety rules to help you get started:
• The proper names for all their private parts; many children are not able to tell about
the abuse because they don't know the words to use.• Safety rules apply to all adults; not
just strangers.
• Their bodies belong to them and it is not okay for another person to touch their private
parts.
• It is okay to say no if someone tries to touch their body or do things that make them feel
uncomfortable; no matter who the person is.
• They should not keep secrets about touching, no matter what he person says; if someone
touches them, tell and keep telling until someone listens!
4. Know the adults and teens in your children’s lives. From getting to know school teachers, coaches and youth workers to interviewing potential babysitters, you should know as much as you can about the adults and teens your kids spend time with. Any adult that seems more interested in your children than you do, should raise a cautionary flag in your mind.
5. Keep tabs on your kids. As much as possible, know where your kids are at and whom they are with. Make it a family rule that if your children’s plans change, they must notify you before they do something or go somewhere that you don’t know about.
I hope these tips helps all of you that have children, nieces, nephews or friends with kids.
Children are a precious gift from God. Let's treat them that way.
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5 comments:
LISA THIS IS EXCELLENT. I LOVE THE INFORMATION THAT IT HAS PROVIDED
Very nice Lisa. I'm glad you shared. I would say don't hide behind advice or scripture. Be yourself in every way. As an observation you are intensly private and tend to hide the true you. Don't...only then what you say will impact people. Be yourself girlfriend because you are awesome.
Lisa this information is wonderful.Kids shouldn't be ashamed to tell anyone they have been abused in anyway, Very important of all Sexually!!
Thanks for being so candid, Lisa.
This is such a necessary thing to talk about and be aware of. I know that there are so so many children that have been abused and the effect it has had on their lives is heart breaking. I'm sure that there is a part of you that is pleased to give children a safe place to grow up and protect them from abusers!
Your blog looks great! I read through your Leman post a while back and will come back to check your posts again. Your heart shows through in your writing and in the topics you choose to write about. I appreciate this "window" into your heart!
You Go Girl!
That took a lot of bravery to share.
I'm glad you are set free and are now helping others.
We began talking about good touch bad touch w/ our daughters when they were about age 3. I agree, it is so important for parents to tell the proper names of body parts to their children because as they get older kids do talk. It is so important for them to be informed.
Good job! Thanks for sharing.
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